“Barkhudar, husn ka mazak na udana, kahin husn ke aage tera mazar na ban jaye.
Manchala hai, khubsurat hai magar ladka hai
Tujhe ladko aur mardo me fark kaun samjhaye”
These lines by Madhuri elicited a gab about difference between a boy and a man. I still remember Mrs Burke (in Grey’s Anatomy) telling George “staying in a marriage out of obligation? That’s no way to live. That’s no way to love. But I think you know that already.” and Derek “Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when not to take less than you deserve? If you do, then you’re an honorable man. Honorable men are all built the same.” What is this category of Honorable Men, now? Guys become men and sometimes these men become honorable men. Sometimes these honorable men also go back to being guys but that is another discussion altogether.
Remember when you were younger, you’d wear shorts and minis to look hotter than the next girl to get attention of your crush? Then you grew up, got busier with your life; you still wear shorts but the reasons are different, more reasonable now. You aren’t insecure sex-crazy teenager anymore who needs to keep increasing her score. You were a girl then, you are a woman now. Girls attract boys and women attract men. It’s easy to spot a hot chirpy girl and it is equally easy to spot a poised elegant woman. Guys look for former with their wild and exciting stories; men, on the other hand, love women and seek the experiences that molded them into the woman they are now. Men look for women with intelligence, wit, sense of humor,the way she talks and what she talks while guys are satisfied with the girls who’d pout and whine and drink and dance. Dating a boy has its advantages, a boy isn’t certain about who he is or what he wants so you can train him to be how you like, getting him is easy since he’s passive, he is exciting as he wants to show off to his friends and most importantly you don’t need to give him a lot of time or commitment as he any way wants to spend time with his buddies getting drunk.
A man knows the value of time and energy, he wouldn’t play around toys. He knows how difficult it is to find a great person, he knows one when he sees one and he wouldn’t let go off her. Every one is afraid of rejections but he will still put himself out there and make himself vulnerable, he is assertive in his approach. [As Nate (Gossip Girl) said “You know it’s love when you start talking like an assassin.”]. A guy needs validation so he acts strong and pursues only those with whom there’s no risk. With women these days being outspoken, a guy wants her to approach him. If a woman sees something in you, she will approach you but at the same time she will lose a little bit of respect for you thinking that you could not take an initiative. Talking about approaching, I absolutely loathe guys asking out on FB chats and whatsapp, it is like a shield so that you don’t need to face someone, it is like the power alcohol gives you. The more ways we have to communicate, the more I value the older ways. With advancements in technology and this habit of constantly staying in touch, flirting virtually is convenient but Flirting online and in-person are two entirely different things. During a conversation you think is life-altering, for all you know, the guy might be sitting at a strip club talking to you! A man has the courage to be honest and values you enough to flirt in-person, he respects you enough to give his entire attention to you and not make you one of the many girls he flirts with online – simultaneously! He wants to see you smiling with your eyes rather than a smiley emoticon!
A guy lets you decide where to go on a date, so does a man but he gives you option cos he has a clarity of purpose. A guy likes to hangout with a girl he likes, a man asks out the woman he likes. Guys are cool and indifferent, Men are hot and passionate. A guy experiences thrill of chase, a man is steady and shows perseverance. A guy knows there is always a prettier girl, a man believes if he won’t someone else will and it will be his huge loss. A guy tells you he’ll text you before leaving, a man will give you at least 12-hour notice before a date. A guy is testing what kind of girl can he land, a man decides what kind of woman he wants. A guy tells you “I told you so”, a man tells you “I wish I could have changed it”. A guy is proud after winning an argument, a man is emotional after an argument irrespective of who wins. A guy gets into a relationship cos he is old enough, a man because he is ready and met a great woman. A guy remembers the crazy sex he had with a stranger, a man remembers the conversation he had with that stranger.
A man is okay not looking hot as long as he is groomed. He is comfortable not having password on his phone as he has nothing to hide from friends or family. He wouldn’t go out with anyone who asks him out, he values himself enough for that. He is decisive in what he is looking for and so when meets one, he wears his heart on his sleeves. He’d rather be alone than with a wrong woman. He also knows when it is becoming counter-productive and he doesn’t hesitate from taking a tough decision and calling quits. He is honest and wouldn’t shy away from confrontation unlike a guy who’d be stuck in a wrong relationship to avoid the “talk” and ultimately cheat or become so boring that their girl has to break-up. At the same time a man also knows that mistakes happen and would give you a second chance. He knows that relationship is for companionship, for emotional growth and support. A gentleman would never take advantage of a lady who has had more than her share of the bottle. He knows that in any relationship, the woman sets the pace. He would never kiss and tell, playing mind games is waste of his time.
Unfortunately, I see only guys around and so do women around me and they end up settling for less than what they deserve with the hope that they can bring out the best in them. As for me, I haven’t dated enough to generalize my category but I relate to Christina (Grey’s Anatomy) when she says “Screw beautiful. I am Brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.”