Tag Archive | truth

The Elite And The Masses


Uttrakhand disaster has been flooding my timeline for past few days. Preferential treatment given to the selected few to save their lives sparked a debate whether the privileged deserve this distinction ( for their extra contribution to the society) or not and this lead to me thinking about Elitist Vs Populist

In a democracy like India, functioning without a populist approach is impossible. However much one may hate the quota system, little solution exist to close the gap between the rich and the poor. Our Foreign policies can’t be based to favor bureaucrats, it has to favor NRIs and their families and similarly environmental policies can’t favor industrialists, it has to favor the population living in those areas. Populism is the reason why a Jayalalitha doesn’t allow a Sri Lankan player to play for IPL in her state. Catering to the needs of majority of the section of society is how a democratic government functions.

That being said, how do you get above par intellectual and professional performance? Would you want a sub-par doctor performing your surgery, don’t best students deserve extra attention to make them even better doctors (or scientist and engineers) which ultimately is an egalitarian goal and serves majority population? I can’t be the only one to want only the cream people in ISRO (Meritocracy)!

Populism is basically a belief of equality (egalitarian) which leads to doing what majority section wants whereas Elitism is a cerebral belief and leads to doing what one believes yo be right (or more important) and not bothering about what majority wants. Simply put, a TOI gives you everything you want (Populism) as compared to an Economist that gives you only the refined version of the news (Elitism). That explains the difference between the money that a documentary makes as compared to that of a Bollywood movie. How else can you explain the years that CID or a Star Plus serial ran?

Personally, I find Populism as Utopian ideal. For a Class-less governance, a class-less society needs to exists. In our society, elite pay more income-tax as a price for civilized society. Everybody is working hard, some are just smarter or even lucky but they have been paying their dues! Populism maintains the status-quo, it gives society what it wants. Elitism on the other hand improves society. If you believe a girl isn’t to be blamed for her rape (which majority in India still believes), how can you not support elitism? If you want society to value a Sam Pitroda more than KRK (Twitter followers: 85k+ & 128k+ resp.), how can you be a populist? In the end, what matters is, how you want your society; just like you are or better than you are?

P.S. 1) For the purpose of this blog, Populism also include pluralism, secernment etc and elitism refers to intellectually smart, hard-worker category of people and not inherent-rich category which is racist, sexist etc.

P.S. 2) For my research, I got a lot of help from articles of Christopher Edley, (Dean of the Law School at Berkeley) and a website: http://retnoespinoza.blogspot.in/2013/03/elitisme-elitism-is-belief-or-attitude.html

Raising Right


Kids being a disappointment for their parents is not anything unusual but what about parents being a disappointment for the entire world? At some level I might accept an alcoholic or an abusive or even ex-con as a parent (conditions apply) but what I don’t accept is parents raising their kids wrong.

In the two recent gang-rape cases (December: medical student gang-raped in a moving bus, April: minor girl raped by neighbor) one of the accused and the culprit (respectively) are minor. Surely both of them are responsible for what they did and they deserve punishment but I don’t think it ends there, what about parents? Aren’t parents supposed to talk Birds & Bees with their little ones (even if they don’t want to talk, they are at least supposed to make sure that they know everything about it) and make sure they are capable of know what is right and what isn’t? Honestly, I have no idea about parents of the implicated in these cases. They can be orphan for all I care but these aren’t isolated cases and I am sure not every parent in India is taking enough caution so as to make sure their teenagers don’t commit this crime. Are we going to let those folks off the hook? There is no punishment for them?

Sole responsibility of a parent isn’t just financially supporting their child, it is to make sure they are raising a good individual. I don’t recommend stay-at-home moms nor do I recommend excessive authority over youngsters. Figure out what works best for your situation but parents all over haven’t really proved themselves competent of figuring this out all on their own. Since I believe in adoption, I know that there are strict rules, background checks etc before allowing adoption. In a country where 40% people are poor and not all deliveries happen at hospitals, establishing a similar strict system before allowing someone to be a parent is an impossible task but there can be ways like, lets say, in cities maternity hospitals can insist on psychological analysis of parents. The solution can be found but for now there is lack of awareness about the existence of problem itself! May be parents aren’t completely responsible, may be our society is but to a good extent a parent should be capable of making sure that people surrounding their minors don’t lead them into doing crimes. If saving a kid from wrong people isn’t responsibility of a parent, whose responsibility is it? There is a reason parenting is probably the most difficult job ever. If you are not ready, steer clear!

P.S. For now I’m ignoring kids involved in other crimes like theft, murder etc.

Dear Congress Party


Dear Congress Party, I would love to vote for you because you have some of the most amazing people as a part of your party and because you are a left-wing party but there are some reasons which stop me. I am a simple girl from Gujarat and I would any day vote for BJP in Gujarat unless you consider these points.

  1. You are a left-wing part not by choice but by fate and only because there isn’t any other party who is more leftist than you are. Your actions don’t show traces of conservative politics and that is why you are left-wing, not because you are liberal or socialist. Please start making sure that actions speak louder than the words in your manifestos.
  2. Mrs Gandhi, Can you please clear the air regarding your education? The claims on Wikipedia regarding your honorary doctorate from Madras University etc aren’t really substantiated. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what your education is, but when INC talks about adult education, women education etc., people have smirk on their faces and that bothers me. Put all these issues to rest once and for all?
  3. Rahul Baba, prove your mettle already! Mr Pilot, Mr Scindia come from political families as well but they have proved their worth. You, coming from the most celebrated family in India, should have changed the scenario of politics in India or at least done something outstanding. Apart from average performance of Youth Congress, there is nothing to your credit. Take up some big ministry and let us all see your work?
  4. I understand that none of the major parties across India is perfect. All of them are selfish, venal etc. But you are the strongest party ever and you have had the maximum number of chances to come to the power and do something for people and in all those times you were nothing but average. When even the strongest party isn’t doing something outstanding, why wouldn’t I rather support a party who is doing superb at least in my state? That should explain you why Gujarat chooses BJP for outstanding development work, West Bengal chooses TMC for Singur & Nandigram movements. So is true for other regional parties like SP, JDU etc. Take a hint, India is democracy & majority voters are young. Keep these in mind and you should be able to sweet all the elections.
  5. Voters like to have power. When I am giving you my vote, I would like to keep you accountable for it. Show your support. You can’t hide in your bunglows all the time. Speak up, console people and take actions to make their lives better.

There are many more things that you need to work on. Just start with these and start NOW!

Punish, Since We Can’t Save


Disclaimer: Read the entire first paragraph and not just first two lines before hating me.

You can hate me for saying this but, from my experience, I believe that any state with more than 1 rape/molestation case registered in a week needs to ban alcohol with immediate effect. I am not saying that such horrendous acts happen only because of the influence of alcohol. No, I would never say that. What I am trying to say is, banning alcohol is not a preemptive measure, but it is a punishment for people for not making a state be a better place, it is punishment for all parents for not making their kids a good person, it is a punishment for all youngsters for not making their friends be a good person, it is a punishment for all of you who are not a good person.

How can we talk about freedom to drink when there is no freedom to safety? There needs to law and order before there is any freedom. Freedom comes once we establish a structure. It can not go the other way round. As for the parallel economy or black money that will come into this equation because of such a practice of banning alcohol, please explain me how much good has our government done any way with all the money that we give them as taxes, that money is stashed in Swiss accounts. I’d rather have a small parallel economy running than see a girl with such injuries. I’d rather see youngsters complaining for lack of freedom than see a life ruined. I’d rather have people drinking sneakily and illegally at their homes than see them out in the open and making scenes. I’d rather see every one (girl or a boy) complaining and suffering from injustice of not being allowed to drink in public than see guys having the right to move around at night and girls being held captives in the comforts of their own homes after dark. I’d rather have everyone not being allowed to live their life to the fullest than see some people succumbing to injuries and losing their lives.

For me, rape, molestation, eve-teasing etc are the worst crimes of all. They are worse than assassin, murder, riots, forgery, extortion, robbery, embezzlement and even genocide. I don’t think I’d be very wrong if I say there is at least one rape every half an hour. Rapes disgust me the most because, more often than not, the victim here is not planned before hand.  Just because I guy is horny, any girl who comes in his way, gets to suffer. This attitude depicts the way people in the country are, it shows how nobody cared for law, it shows how less concerned are we for our women, it shows how less a life means to us.

I am not trying to victimize alcohol for the acts some stupid people do. There is very fine line between blaming alcohol for such acts and banning it as a punishment for not making the society our society law-abiding and civilized. You might ask that if it is such a fine line, how come alcohol came into a picture of rapes and molestation, it did because I live in a state which is extremely safe and which has alcohol forbidden. I have lived here for more than two decades and take my word for it, I have NEVER felt unsafe, not for a SECOND. May be it is just the culture of the city and it has got nothing to do with alcohol after all, but I would want to see this culture in the entire country. It hurts me that administrative capital of my country is also the rape capital.

May be you will find faults in what I say, but why don’t you try to find a better solution instead? While you do, we can experiment with banning alcohol in the state. While I know my voice is not going to reach the ears of the likes of Sheila Dixit, I rejoice in the fact that I live in a city where I am safe. My dear Delhi counterparts, I feel sorry for you. All my sympathies with you, may God save you from other humans around you!

A small act that women should do when their state is going through election process. Go to all the polls and put up a poster saying, “Decrease crimes against women and I might vote for you next time”. It is a small act. I am not sure if it will work or not but it is, I guess, worth a try.

P.S.

1. If you find a fault in my plan, I’m sure we can improvise. Don’t bother telling me it won’t work without giving proper reasons.

2. Just to reiterate, I am NOT saying that only drunkards rape, I am not even averse to the fact that alcohol might have nothing to do with rapes. All I have suggested is just a punishment for entire society and thereby kindling a hope of improvement.

Black, White, Grey And Everything In Between


Have you ever had a very close friend who did something you will never forget? Better yet, have you ever done something to your friend which you think was right but your friend hates you for that?

In earlier times, there was a clear definition of Black and White, Demon and Angel, Bad and Good. The were more of “Don’t Do”s than “Do”s. Everyone noticed, commented and ordered you against your choice if you talked loudly or returned home late or talked to opposite gender or fell in love or expressed your opinion in front of elders etc. The list of “Do”s was limited up to grow up, marry, have kids, respect others & live your family lives.

If you cross the wrong line, you were no different from a murderer. You were to become an outcast or even worse, beaten & killed. Thankfully the next generation took it forward. People are more independent and less scared. But this has blurred the line between right and wrong. Now you can kill someone and still not be an evil (Remember Hrithik’s movie Guzaarish?).  We can’t categorize people in Black and White. We say that unless you are in their shoes, you won’t know the reason of the sin they commit, we say everyone has a reason for a wrong choice. Bad choices are a part of the lives we live. We say we learn and move on. (Remember, I call it a lesson learned?). Don’t we all have friends who made mistakes of dating wrong people? We still forgive them because we know they are not a Saint and so they are allowed to make mistakes. And since they are not a Sinner, they are still our friends.

We forgive politicians for non-performance, parents for emotional & physical pain, friends for back-stabbing, partners for wrong choices and so-on. I have known of people forgiving humiliation, violence and even infidelity (God knows, after all the movies I watch, I am scared of not being completely loyal myself!!). Worst thing you can do, darkest thought you can have, people close to you tend to forgive it all. But  how much is too much after all?

Money: The Price To Buy Beauty?


I have been a sort of person who is repulsed at anyone who objectifies women. So, clearly, when somebody would talk in the tone that “Women need to be beautiful”, it used to irritate me completely. I’d any day be partial to a compliment “You are smart” over “You are beautiful”. I’d always be inclined to the person giving former compliment over the one giving the latter one. And it goes without saying that I do not like the notion of society that the guys should be affluent and the girls should be pretty.

Recently I came across this episode of Lie To Me in which a rich guy asks the crew to take a test on his fiance and find out if she is taking vows with him for “Right Reasons”. By the end of the episode, it was concluded that she was marrying him because he was rich and she loved him. Episode said something like how can you separate your money from you, it’s just a part of you. Point to note here was why the Rich guy was marrying the not-so-rich-but-extremely-beautiful-girl. Were his Reasons Right?

This made me see the other side of this whole dogma. You can not separate a guy from his money and you can not separate a girl from her beauty. It is the part of the whole personality that one falls in love with. Similarly, in Indian setting, the guy is also supposed to be street smart and the girl is also supposed to be able to take care of home/cook apart from just being pretty. It is just inseparable. When you fall in love, you can’t say that this person is nice at heart and that’s why I love him/her. (I believe every one has a grey shade. If you give people a benefit of doubt and actually try and understand them, everyone has a reason of doing an abominable act). When you fall in love, you love the whole essence of the other person; how she dresses, how she talks, how she reacts in situations, how hygienic she is, will she respect my parents, is she presentable, can I take her to parties. And similarly, will he be take care of me, is he violent, will I be able to adjust to the culture of his family, will he make my life easy. Being nice is just not enough anymore. The grace, the charm, the elegance and similarly the class, the company, the family etc is the part of it.  There is some idea in your mind and the person who you fall in love with is compatible with it. Money and beauty are just part of it. Beautiful Women wish to be seen and similarly Rich Men fancy exhibiting their wealth.

It goes without saying that I am talking about independent individuals who are almost nice if not perfect Ms-Goody-Two-Shoes. Being with a guy ONLY because he is rich or being with a girl only because she is extremely beautiful, never happens. No girl can possibly want a luxurious life if the guy is violent. Similarly no guy would want some extremely pretty girl who is good for nothing. There always is a balance. You compromise some traits and you love the whole idea of the other person. Falling in love with JUST one trait is impossible.

Beauty and Cost always go hand in hand. Or may be not.

What comes easy, won’t always last.


A very cliche conversation on the difference between boys and girls taking a relationship can give a lot of insights. I know all guys and girls want to believe that they are very different from each other and it is unfair to categorize, may be they are right. But I seem to be noticing striking similarities in most guys and so holds true for girls too.

Like the other day, a friend of mine asked me what hints do girls exactly give, how to know if I should propose this girl or not! I was surprised! How does it matter what hints the girl is giving. You proposing shouldn’t depend on hints the girl is giving. It is impossible to predict a girl, or even a guy for that matter. If you like someone, you think you will really enjoy spending time with that person and you believe that person is the best for you, Go ahead and propose. Even if the answer is No, Try convincing if you really really like the person. At least you’ll have the satisfaction that you gave your best.

But some guys seem to believe that “Chance marne me kya jaata hai”! Sure, but then don’t expect a serious relationship when you aren’t sure of your commitment. That will just lead to some good time and healthy flirting and if you are lucky, you might just score as well. But the expectations should be same from both side. It should be such that one feels “Chance marne me kya jaata hai” and gets lucky while the other one really falls in love. That leads to total destruction of characters. You are the one who is making a girl bring up her guards. Please figure out what you want. If you want some some good time and nothing serious, no judgement against it. But please make it clear to the one you are trying to hook up with.

About this “Chance marne me kya jaata hai” stuff, I personally do not appreciate it. It gets so difficult to differentiate these people from genuine ones. And so I have personally made wrong decisions as well and now I try to be more conscious. So is true for many other girls. They can’t figure out that this guy really likes her or is just giving it a try. And then they say that the girl is giving attitude. No, she is not. Even she wants a proper love relationship just like anyone else. The problem is she can’t figure out if you are any different from the rest who are just hitting on her cos she is pretty and single and they believe “Chance maarne me kya jaata hai”

If you are one of the believers of it, find a girl who is easy to come and easy to go. Please spare the rest who are looking for something more meaningful. It is completely okay to either want serious relationship as well as just time pass one. What’s wrong is, is not knowing what you truly want and hooking up without realizing your true feelings.

If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy! For those of you who really really like a girl who already has her guards up, Remember:  What comes easy, won’t always last. And what will last, won’t always come easy. Patience is the key. Love her truly and if she is worth you, she will fall for you.