Prime Time Drama On Apna Television

Apna Television is New Zealand’s first 24/7 free-to-air Indian entertainment channel on digital free-view and is one of the limited options available for Hindi speaking community in that category. Even though I haven’t had a chance to watch enough serials on it, I’ve seen a couple of them that are shown at prime time. One of these serials is “Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Hi Kijo” which was initially telecasted on Zee TV a few years back. I didn’t know about the serial then but I do now and boy, it couldn’t have been further away from its title. The serial starts with the protagonist who got married as a child (sold away for money and duped by parents) after which she enters a family as a mistress. The serial shows multiple societal sins which are shown to be acceptable. These sins include extramarital relationships with mistresses often to get a male-child, stealing of ornaments in your own home, marrying criminals for money, shooting and kidnapping your own relatives, need I say more? Almost everybody has either tried to kill or has been a victim of attempted murder. Am I the only one appalled by the lack of gravity with which killing has been showcased? I should also mention that the protagonist acts like a total miss-goody-two-shoes and hence faces multiple murder attempts and being treated like shit. Though, ultimately, she ends up becoming a sarpanch, but what is the serial trying to tell, that face whatever is being doled out to you and hope for your lover to come and protect and stand by you and the world will be a perfect place. By the way, if you both are in love and you know your family is stupid, why not go to a different part of the country and live happily ever after instead of facing multiple murder attempts? When I read about the serial on Wikipedia, the page mentioned that the serial is supposed to be based in Bihar. To be fair, knowing that state, activities are shown in that serial are not that away from reality but all these activities happening in one family, not a chance.

All this while, when I talk about the plot of the serial, I’m particularly annoyed by the channels that broadcast such a serial, what thoughts did you go through while choosing a serial to broadcast, what message do you want to convey? What do you get by showing a rich, uneducated, uncultured, violent family that nobody can be inspired by? Do you know the difference between progressive and regressive? People like you are the reason why India is still considered as a backward society overall instead of a developing country who recently outpaced China in terms of growth.

Now that I have spoken about the serial, let’s look at the value system of the Channel. I came across a page claiming to be “Apna Television Official” stating the kind of content which it aims to deliver. On further research, I came across this article which I assume its PR team dished out. The said article describes the channel’s mission is to deliver “vibrant, youthful and value-oriented television for the entire family, which is endearing, enriching and entertaining.” I would want to meet any pundit who can spin a story that vouches for this serial’s values of trying to kill people at every chance they get, treating women as an object to deliver babies (boys), buying and selling young girls, burning the house at multiple occasions, and I don’t even want to get into how respectful and loving and religious the family is.  As for “entire family” part, the serial is scheduled at a prime time which says that the channel is pretty sure that the serial is apt to be viewed by the entire family during their dinner time. I can not describe how contradicting it is to my judgement (which is, even if I try to be humble, is above average). Whom are they kidding when they say kids should watch such serials where everybody shouts at each other, eight-year-olds call names to their parents, everybody plots to hurt each other for their hidden agendas. The said article also says that the channel “…creates a unique blend of entertainment…”, which part of this serial is entertaining, throwing chilli powder in eyes, throwing nails hidden in flowers at a new-born child, or holding women captive like cattle?

Now addressing the channel directly,

You guys designed the above mentioned lines as your mission statements, when you don’t abide by them, it is futile to try to explain you the onus of media as an influencer of public opinion. Owning a television channel without considering consequences of showing what you are showing is an evidence of shortsightedness. It’s time to have a critical look at what you are showing to the next generation and what you are telling them as acceptable standard of violence, insult and culture in a family. I understand that you don’t create these serials but you choose the serials of which you buy the broadcasting rights. Go through Star Plus and other Hindi channels and the serials they show, choose some progressive/logical/at least remotely associated with reality sort of serials t show. You have the responsibility to show better serials, any random serial wouldn’t do just because it is Hindi. It’s time you decide to self-regulate the message you pass through the serials you choose and step up.

Single And Fabulous?

The biggest fear of a father isn’t that his daughter will run away but that she would refuse to marry. Nowadays, parents accept love/inter-caste marriage as long as there is a formal girl-boy marriage (God save LGBT). Educating your daughter and letting her choose to work is an acceptable practise these days in a certain section of society but a surprisingly high number of ladies in that exact same category choose to study further or go to a different city to work for the sole purpose of dodging the topic of marriage. Are we seeing a sudden upsurge of women not wanting to get married, or at least taking a long time to make up their minds?

Now that these women are finally allowed to have the freedom to choose their career and guys in their lives, they are unimpressed with just that, they want more, much more. Independence is something you just can’t have enough of. Women now have their way while deciding the field of study, jobs and ways to spend their hard-earned money. Their life, on paper, is perfect. They don’t see a reason to change it any sooner than it is required and that usually means unless there is too much pressure from friends and family members.

When these said family members try to lure you towards marriage, plus-point they show is stability. What does this stability really mean? For many women, stability is an important word when it comes to career, but not a romantic life. We need a guarantee that it will be there tomorrow what we are doing, but not who we are doing. Sure, everyone needs a company but that is the thing about people these days, they are so darn replaceable. If you are a decent looking girl, guys will flirt with you, guys will ask you out and these guys are all so similar. Or are they just all the same?

If you, as a girl, are not going to be strong-armed by society, you can date, you can get regular sex, you can live-in, you can have an entire relationship without marriage ever factoring in. The only problem is, does it take a toll on you emotionally, do you have to keep a check on how much are you investing emotionally? I can’t help but wonder, is this the reason guys are the way they are in a relationship? Did guys learn this lesson before us? Are we finally learning this lesson? Most importantly, where does this leave our society?

P.S. Choice of language that imparts the idea that society allowed women this freedom is intentional.

Love So Pure

Good Lord, must it be difficult to be a father.  How much a father loves his beautiful and smart daughter has been shown in movies and books enough already but what about the fathers with not-so-perfect daughters? I am pretty sure that a father, unlike any other man, would adore her irrespective of her being aesthetically beautiful or not but what if the said flaws are not physical?

The most difficult task after the forgiving someone is to love them unconditionally post forgiving. Loving an asshole, making society question his parenting, getting married against his wishes, talking back, rash driving, tattoos, alcohol and whatnot, fathers have forgiven everything. How do fathers love us when we are flawed all the time? In today’s world, we have come to terms with forgiving lying, cheating, back-stabbing, two-timing and whatnot! Personally having forgiven enough of these vices, but not being able to love post the ordeal, I have started to wonder if their love is different than the one that we have come to learn of.

A father pays an obscene amount of money for his daughter’s education, compliments her cooking- experiments even if he is intolerant to those of his wife’s, suppresses his fears every time some guy is mentioned, melts when the daughter coaxes him into fulfilling her absurd shopping wish-list, patiently shows her how much love she deserves thereby establishing a precedent for another man who will love her, watches her turn from a baby into a woman and all this just to turn his back on her and give her away one day and then not to see her months at a stretch? When a man loves his wife, there is desire; with parents, there is a sense of duty; unlike a son, generally speaking, a daughter isn’t even a support for his old age; with daughters, it is pure affection.

Is the key to this transcendental love the fact that they are too busy with their jobs or is it a conscious effort to ignore the mistakes of his teenage daughter. Maybe it is decades of knowing their daughters, especially in their formative years, or maybe it is some logic of same genes/blood that leads to unconditional love. I heard a story once that a father didn’t utter a single word when his daughter drew all over his passport after which he had to take pains of getting it re-issued*. What do we daughters do in return for all that love? Sure, you can’t compare love but I’m certain a daughter’s love isn’t as pure as her father’s. I can’t be the only one who has had multiple bouts of hatred (please tell me I’m not the only horrible daughter or else I’d have a huge pang of guilt on me for the rest of my life.)

Being a father is such a painful job but at the same time, I can see that it is gratifying to have a daughter. Seeing his daughter all grown-up in a dress and heels has to be a proud feeling but it must also hurt to know that there is no little girl with pigtails anymore.  Marrying a daughter away has to be a relief but it surely leaves a father bereft. Is there underlying masochism of some sort?  Do guys today want to be a father anymore? Do they have it in them?

“A Daughter is a treasure and a cause for sleeplessness” Ben Sirach
“It kills you to see them grown up but I guess it will kill you faster if they didn’t” Barbara Kingsolver

P.S. Since a few of you asked, this is not a dedication to my father, he is not even in the same country right now.

*Thank you Apsara for sharing that anecdote.